2013年11月30日 星期六
2013年11月25日 星期一
2013年11月16日 星期六
ARGH
15 seats. 4 friends enrolled. The feeling of incapability just keeps flushing into my damn head. I says I understand the decision and result but in fact I DON'T.
Externalizing and internalizing reasons flicker and make me feel dizzy, although I was clearly told that the selection tells NOTHING about individuals' ability. How can I possibly take this reason. I tried to calm down but thoughts just recur.
*
Rarely I would feel NO pride of myself. I used to think of the accomplishment I have made, but these days I can just think of the things that I have done worse than others. Damn comparison. Can I just be, in any aspect, more successful than everyone? Why am I always get beaten up? Where DID my pride come from.
Not solely because of the practicum enrollment. Life recently makes me feel inapt. I don't know how to cheer myself up. Damn. This is not ME. Where the hell am I hiding from me.
*
I doubt the possibility that I am developing certain kind of psychological disorder. Haha.
Externalizing and internalizing reasons flicker and make me feel dizzy, although I was clearly told that the selection tells NOTHING about individuals' ability. How can I possibly take this reason. I tried to calm down but thoughts just recur.
*
Rarely I would feel NO pride of myself. I used to think of the accomplishment I have made, but these days I can just think of the things that I have done worse than others. Damn comparison. Can I just be, in any aspect, more successful than everyone? Why am I always get beaten up? Where DID my pride come from.
Not solely because of the practicum enrollment. Life recently makes me feel inapt. I don't know how to cheer myself up. Damn. This is not ME. Where the hell am I hiding from me.
*
I doubt the possibility that I am developing certain kind of psychological disorder. Haha.
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